cryingbaby

Health

VOL 23 Issue 25000

The gene that allows an adult male to calmly ignore his own screaming infant or toddler has been identified. Scientists at Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory say the gene suppresses nurturing and empathy instincts, unleashes stress inhibitors, and effectively lets a man completely tune out a small child throwing a tantrum or otherwise vocalizing any form of bodily or emotional anguish. Through groundbreaking research on the gene, which exists only on the Y chromosome of all men worldwide, indicates it is most prominently activated during certain behaviors and in specific environments: while a man is driving his car and listening to Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir”; downstairs in the den watching NFL RedZone; or at the dining room table savoring Rigatoni Bolognese and sipping a Valpolicella. The scientists are now exploring why women lack the “ignoring-the-screaming-child” gene and they are inviting the medical, business and political communities to suggest additional applications for its introduction, because the end behavior is so prevalent and unquestionably blissful.

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