Tubs.BlownUp

World Culture

VOL 945 ISSUE 2

The Taliban today posted a video of their demolition of two ancient sandstone statues, the Tubs of Takhar, and vowed to continue dynamiting other idols of infidels. For centuries an obscure Silk Road tourist destination in Afghanistan, the two sculpted tubs were situated in a meadow at a cliff’s edge overlooking a lake and positioned toward the sunset. They contained languid, smiling effigies who were holding hands while respectively looking at mysterious primitive devices, considered by some experts to be precursors to iPhones. Nearly 2,000 years ago, the Tubs of Takhar symbolized to their builders a noble communion through mutual cleansing of body and spirit. In modern society, they inspired the marketers of the PDE5 inhibitor Cialis, who tastefully repurposed and popularized the tubs for humanity’s unquestionable gain. The tubs’ obliteration has reportedly alarmed archaeologists, pharmaceutical executives, and sales reps at commercial media platforms that air sports events watched by men of a certain age.

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