VOL 4 ISSUE 20
At a superlative all-day shindig on a rooftop in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, Angelique Beaverhausen, who is single, persisted in broadcasting her yearlong practice of waking at the ungodly hour of 4:20 am. In passionate, articulate exchanges, Beaverhausen made clear that she was looking for a relationship and thoroughly enjoying the party—which celebrated the launch of a new website devoted to unmarried folks who belong to Mensa, volunteer actively, run a mile under six minutes and laugh liberally—and that she fervently advocated rising daily (including weekends) at an hour the unholiness of which can barely be quantified. By getting a leg up on the morning, Beaverhausen, who has not been on a date since 2015 but would very much like to, enthused that she has in the past 12 months enjoyed productivity that has surprised even herself. During the dark, dark hours that are so quiet and peaceful, the 24-year-old has recently been reading Zadie Smith’s complete works, teaching herself to program in Python, moderating multilingual online mentoring sessions, meditating, practicing hot yoga (who isn’t?!), building a new nyckelharpa, and indulging in some options trading. All this before power-walking to the subway and onward to the gym! Sources report that the healthy, wealthy and wise Beaverhausen left the party shortly after sundown utterly unnoticed and very much alone.