A thunderbolt lights up the sky above Ch


VOL 58 ISSUE 623  Life and Shopping

Two of the most improbable events in nature took place simultaneously today when lightning hit Valentina Vonn square in the forehead as she opened a special, time-limited offer of 20% off purchases at Bed, Bath & Beyond. Mathematicians at Stevens Institute of Technology in Hoboken have thus far failed to precisely quantify the odds of the occurrence, noting that they are still researching reports of lightning forehead strikes, and that a prominent retailer like Bed, Bath & Beyond typically treasures the consistent value it delivers to customers as inviolable and essential to its brand–not worth compromising with such a cheesy coupon. Adding to the combinatorial unlikelihood, Vonn survived unscathed and promptly wielded her coupon to buy a king-size mattress topper, a pumpkin cocotte and a mapamundi gold triptych canvas artwork—all for 20% less than the respective $1,999.99, $179.99 and $599.99 list prices.