VOL 3 ISSUE 244-8 Social Media

Absolutely fed up with the perpetual, lame practice of selfies years after the fad crested and, to a lesser extent, bothered by the memory of the fall and death of his girlfriend snapping them as they teetered on a cliff’s edge in Santorini, Rodney Ruff sat in front of tarp he hung in front of Wawa and repeatedly creamed himself with a pie. “This is what we should be doing to ourselves!” he screamed as mildly curious patrons photographed him. While wiping off, Ruff said he will repeat the minor spectacle each day until selfies go extinct, if Wawa management permits it, and that he had thoroughly investigated many prospective protests, ultimately deciding that he preferred whipped cream to self-immolation.