VOL 27 Issue 32
Any day now a frost will devastate Florida’s orange groves, Nikki Hogshead knows, and her annual anxiety is spiking accordingly. An avid consumer of oranges and grapefruits and their associated products, juices and juice products, Hogshead has for decades observed that an unnatural cold spell, perhaps as extreme as a Deep Freeze or Big Chill, inevitably hits the Sunshine State this time of year, wiping out gazillions of citrus fruits. She has further noted that the related news coverage comes with images of icicles dangling from oranges, statistics about the negative economic impact on Florida, and grave commentary that, due to reduced supply, significantly higher prices for oranges and grapefruits are understandably warranted. At press time, Hogshead has failed to persuade any of her friends to accept her prediction and quietly start hoarding oranges.